Good thing

Bill already bought enough pool chemicals to melt a hole to China.

The rest of them just burned up.

A fire at a warehouse where pool chemicals were stored sent thick smoke billowing into the air Tuesday and forced the evacuation of residents near the facility, law enforcement and fire officials said.

Rumors that workers disregarded OSHA and company safety regulations to fill rush backorders caused by a reported sudden shortage due to binge buying in the Virginia Beach, Va, area are totally unfounded and scurrilous speculation, probably not at all true, but who knows for sure these days.

Thousands of people evacuated so Bill could adjust the ph of his pool to the point he gets bright orange hair. Selfish bastage. But this probably is an indication that with as much of that crap as he dumped into his pool, he and Alice should refrain from smoking out on the patio, for a few days at least. Unless he's decided to become an amatuer filmaker, on par with Michael Moore, and recreate the fires on Lake Erie from the late 70's. Hey, it'd be just another excuse for him to pull out that powder blue leisure suit and white patent leather disco shoes he's kept for all these years. He's often mentioned that he doesn't get near enough opportunities to wear that these days. In fact, I think that was part of the reason he was so down in the dumps last Thursday at Waffle House. Self induced feelings of wardrobe inadequacy. It can just ruin your whole pork chop sandwich experience. Don't let it happen to someone you like. I guess that may be why I let Bill wallow in it.